Category Archives: Self Help

Public Speaking

What is public speaking and what makes it so important? Public speaking is the process of speaking in a structured manner in front of an audience with the intent to inform, influence or entertain them. It’s a very important subject to learn, because at least once in their lives, people will have to speak in front of an audience and understanding public speaking can come in handy.

Public speaking and speeches

The speeches a lot of people would be familiar with may be those made by celebrities when receiving an award, but that is in fact not considered public speaking.

To qualify a speech as public speaking, a speaker must have a speech that is structured and may even tell a story or narrative. Some speeches may be written and memorized before the actual presentation, but others may be impromptu, but the speech must be cohesive and flow well for the audience to understand. After all, public speaking is used to inform, influence and entertain.

Storytelling

As public speaking is done to inform, influence or entertain an audience, some form of structure is needed in a speech. However, memorizing an actual story or coming up with one on the spot isn’t needed.

In public speaking, storytelling is one of the ways to grab an audience’s attention with a small anecdote that’s related to the speech’s topic. With storytelling, members of the audience can start imagining the events the orator or speaker is talking about, and this is usually one of the most-remembered portions of a speech.

Voice

Even with technology such as microphones and speaker system, public speakers still rely on the strength of their voices to get their messages across. The volume of a person’s voice is very important. If a speaker’s voice is too soft, no one will be able to hear them, but if it’s too loud, people may think they’re shouting.

The tone of voice is also important, as there must be some emotion injected into it for the speaker to avoid sounding like they are speaking about something boring, but not too much that the speech seems overdone or overly flamboyant.

Vocabulary and word choice

The speech must fit the tone and mood of the topic at hand to better appeal to the audiences.

For example, if the speech makes use of a lot of slang in a formal gathering, it may be seen as crude or inappropriate. Similarly, using formal language or technical jargon in a casual setting would confuse the audience and cause some to stop listening.

Gestures and body language

The way a speaker moves and commands their body is a very important part of public speaking, as all eyes are on them. If a person fidgets or fails to act well, then it may be obvious that they’re nervous, and no one will bother listening to them. If they use too many flamboyant gestures or walk everywhere while on-stage, the audience will be distracted. However, a good public speaker tends to use gestures and their stance to help with the message of their speech. For example, when a speech calls for a strong tone, the speaker may stand straight and even raise a fisted hand to complement their words.

Body language also involves eye contact, and this means looking at the audience. This does not mean making direct eye contact with each member of the audience, but instead means simply looking at them and even making sure that they are still listening and that the speech is still effective. Keeping eye contact is also a good way to connect to the audience so they don’t feel isolated or like they’re watching a person monologuing without reason.

Eating Disorders

Eating Disorder

What are eating disorders? Eating orders are considered mental illnesses that affect a person’s eating habits. They manifest differently for each person, whether it’s a decrease or increase in intake.

However, eating disorders are nothing to ignore, because while they may start small such as a lack of appetite or an increase in appetite, a person can become obsessed with the change in their eating habits and may show signs of other mental illnesses as well.

Causes

There are a lot of causes of eating disorders, and these can be either something within themselves, or the world around them. Sometimes, even growing up can be a reason why a person has an eating disorder.

Here are some of the causes of eating disorders:

Biochemical processes

Sometimes, it’s the body itself that has difficulty with food. This usually happens because of a problem in the neuroendocrine system, which contains the Hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA axis) which in turn is important in someone’s eating behavior.

Substance abuse and alcoholism

Substances and alcohol can decrease a person’s hunger, but they do not decrease the body’s actual need for food. The more a person takes these substances, the less they will feel like eating and therefore affect their eating behavior.

Peer pressure

When one person is attempting to lose weight, there’s a chance that their friends will attempt to diet as well in order to “fit in”. Athletes also tend to succumb to eating disorders due to their active lifestyles and need to stay in shape.

Cultural pressure

The media, especially in Western society, tends to portray thin people as examples of beauty and perfection, which can lead to anxiety and pressure on both men and women to keep losing weight in order to be recognized as perfect.

Kinds of eating disorders

Anorexia nervosa (AN)

This eating disorder is one of the more commonly heard disorders today. It involves the fear of gaining weight, which leads the person to restrict their food intake with counting calories and being picky about what they eat, and therefore leads to problems in the body.

People with anorexia nervosa tend to view themselves as too fat even if they are underweight and continually check themselves in front of a mirror to see if they are still thin. Because they eat too little, they show symptoms such as rapid weight loss, swollen joints, hair loss, rapid mood swings and depression.

Some people tend to mistake this for anorexia, which is a medical term for a lack of appetite, but experts say that the two are completely different and that anorexia nervosa is the proper term for the disorder. In fact, anorexia nervosa does not involve a lack of appetite, but simply the fear of gaining weight.

Bulimia nervosa

For people with bulimia nervosa, binge eating is fine as long as the excess food can be removed immediately in order to maintain a thin or ‘perfect’ body figure. After consuming a large amount of food, a person with bulimia will almost always attempt to remove the food by inducing vomiting, taking a laxative or diuretic, or exercising in excess. Much like those with anorexia nervosa, people with bulimia may have a fixation with calorie counting, and see themselves as too fat.

Symptoms of bulimia include dental erosion due to the frequent contact between teeth and gastric acid, swollen salivary glands, oral trauma, peptic ulcers and electrolyte imbalance which can lead to death.

Binge eating disorder (BED)

In contrast with AN, people with this disorder tend to eat in excess, and unlike those with bulimia, they don’t make an effort to purge immediately afterward. They are also likely to have more binge episodes, sometimes even twice a week, and are known to eat faster during a binge episode rather than a normal eating episode.

However, people with this particular disorder are sometimes distinct from those with compulsive eating disorders in that those with BED feel guilty after a binge episode and even disgust with themselves for doing so.

Pica

People with this disorder have cravings for either food that have no nutrition, or items that are not meant to be food at all, such as chalk, baking soda or glass. They have difficulty distinguishing a food item and a non-food item.

Eating disorders not otherwise specified (EDNOS)

Eating disorders classified here are usually those that don’t fit the criteria or either anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Compulsive eating (COE) or the addiction to food and eating, is classified as this.

Dating Guide

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Dating is probably one of the most important parts or a person’s life nowadays. Why? Because it’s both a form of courtship between two people and part of the maintenance of a couple’s relationship. A relationship can be both formed and maintained by going on dates, which makes them a very big deal in today’s society.

Forming a relationship through dating Probably one of the more important parts about dating is the “first date”, as it becomes a formal introduction of two people who have an interest in each other. With the first date, a person can form an impression of the other party and decide whether they want to continue with this courtship or break it off immediately.

Some people tend to follow some steps or guidelines while dating, usually called the “rules of dating”. There are no universal rules, but just some things that people tend to agree on.

Some of these rules are as follows:
1. Don’t rush things. This includes sex on the first date, moving in immediately or even jumping into a wedding without letting the relationship have time to grow. 2. Talking about previous partners is considered rude and inappropriate for a date, because nobody likes to know that their date is still thinking of those who had come before them. 3. If a date, the relationship or the partner is not an ideal one, then it’s best to break it off politely and gently. 4. Don’t lead a date or partner around. If it’s just sex, then that should be clearly defined.

Maintaining a relationship through dating Even if people have been together for a long time, going on dates is still a good way to maintain a relationship and even strengthen it, because there’s still something special when it comes to going out together and having a moment alone.

For married couples with children, life can be so busy that during the day there is usually no time to talk to each other, and so dates become a way to them to reconnect and reaffirm their love for one another.

Some couples would even try to recreate their first date or their favorite date when they were still in the courtship phase. These dates can range from dinners in favorite restaurants or homemade meals at home to second honeymoons for married couples. Second honeymoons are usually done by the couple for the couple and without their children, much like they had their first honeymoons after the wedding.

Double dates or group dates Instead of having only two parties, these kinds of dates can have more than two people meeting together in the hopes of finding a romantic or sexual partner in the participants. These are usually organized by two or more people, who then ask their single or unattached friends to join in.

These kinds of dates are becoming more popular nowadays because it helps the participants feel more comfortable when speaking to others because there are familiar faces they can depend on. Some would even say that these dates are safer than single dates, as having friends around can increase security when it comes to dealing with strangers.

Online dating Another method of dating that is becoming more popular with the rise of the Internet is online dating, or meeting people through websites, forums and chatrooms. This is very popular because the Internet allows for communicating with others without having to leave home and offers some security.

However, there’s a danger to online dating, because since the Internet offers anonymity, there’s no real way to determine whether or not the other party is who they claim they are until a face-to-face meeting.

Dating Guide

Abuse

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ABUSE

Abuse is a word we see a lot nowadays, most especially in the media. In general, it means the improper treatment of something, usually for the wrong purposes. However, there are in fact different types of abuse depending on the situation and context, and each of them has their own consequences.

In this article will be some of the more known uses of the word, and in what context it is being used.

Discrimination and Prejudice This type of abuse details out the judgment of others based on their appearance or social standing, and one’s treatment of them as if they were less human than others. Even if the other person is an upstanding member of society, those prejudiced against him or her will only focus on the traits they don’t like and continue to judge him or her due to this. As such, this type of abuse tends to be a very controversial topic, and can lead to bullying or hate crimes.

Discrimination and prejudice can be further divided into the following:
• Sexism or bias against a person based on their sex; • Racism and ethnic discrimination or bias against a person’s race or ethnic origin; • Sex, gender-identity and gender discrimination or bias against a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity; • Religious discrimination or bias against a person’s religion; • Age discrimination or bias against a person’s age or age bracket; • Disability discrimination or bias against people with disabilities in favor of those who do not; and • Classism or bias against people of different social or economic standing.

Sexual abuse Another very controversial topic, sexual abuse is the forcing of the sexual act or any other kind of sexual behavior on an unwilling party. Some see sexual abuse as another term for rape and sexual assault and use them interchangeably, but in fact, sexual assault is abuse that happens quickly or infrequently, while rape is considered a specific offense under sexual assault.

Sometimes, sexual abuse can stem from abuse of power wherein a person of authority forces an underling to engage in unwanted sexual activity. There may also be bribery or threats to better force someone to do so, but as long as it is unwanted or not consensual, it still counts as abuse.

Bullying Bullying is in fact a form of abuse, as it makes use of force or coercion to either harm or intimidate other people. This is usually done to either establish power and in some cases the harm done doesn’t have to be physical, as some bullies tend to resort to words to emotionally debilitate or humiliate others if they’re not the type to resort to physical violence. Bullying can also happen repeatedly and regularly if the bully or bullies find one particular target beneficial or gratifying to abuse.

One of the more common forms of bullying takes place in school, usually done by students to other students, though sometimes even those in a position of authority such as teachers can become bullies themselves.

Substance abuse Also known as drug abuse, when the user consumes illegal substances or legal substances that have not been approved for them by professionals, it’s called abuse. When gone unchecked, the person may develop an addiction and continue to need the substance.

Whether or not the person develops an addiction, there will always be symptoms and consequences that may become life-threatening in the future. Some of these are health problems, social problems, violent tendencies and even death.

Domestic violence Sometimes also called spousal abuse and family violence, domestic violence tends to happen within the home, whether or not the parties involved are married. In fact, the abuse of a family member intimate partner or lover is still called domestic violence.

Harm done to another person can be physical, emotional, verbal and even sexual, but some would consider stalking, harassment and unlawful imprisonment to be part of domestic abuse as well.